


Guilty

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom, joker DCU
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Arkham Asylum, Comfort/Angst, Denial of Feelings, Drama, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Feels, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Joker - Freeform, Joker dcu - Freeform, Love, Relationship(s), Suicide Squad, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Jared Leto, The Joker Suicide Squad, The Joker fanfiction, The Joker imagine, Tragedy, True Love, painful memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 22:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15716442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: The Joker will never let them know the agony he felt and still feels knowing that the only family he ever had and cared for is gone forever. It’s better to hide it all under the evil smile, cruel actions and the blissful numbness of insanity. The only thing The King of Gotham was guilty of this time is allowing himself to love. Never again. Once was more than enough.





	Guilty

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

“Do you miss your wife Mister Joker?” the psychiatrist asks, scribbling on the notepad placed besides her coffee mug.

“No,” he grins, stretching his legs, getting even more comfortable since the therapy session started half an hour ago and it’s going nowhere.

“Do you miss your children?”

“No,” the short answer resonates in the chamber, that evil smirk persisting on his pale face making the doctor a bit uncomfortable.

“Do you feel responsible for their deaths?” she cautiously inquires, hoping he will cooperate today. “Do you feel…guilty you couldn’t save them?”

“I don’t feel anything,” the Clown Prince of Crime whispers. ”Didn’t you read the report? It’s been there for a while,” his voice returns to normal, apathy settling in.

“Did you love your wife Mister Joker?”

Such a maniacal laugh coming out of that sinister mouth of his; he seems amused and the woman insists:

“Can you please answer the question, Mister Joker?”

He starts humming, slowly closing his eyes.

“Did you love your children?” the questionnaire goes on, same one every week.

The Joker hums lauder, rocking his body to the faint song only he can hear.

“A couple of months ago you told me you can see your dead wife, Mister Joker. Do you still see her?”

The patient stops his little song and sighs, winking at the doctor.

“Well now, seeing dead people would make me clinically certified crazy, ain’t that right?”

He takes a quick glance to the left corner of the office where the ethereal silhouette so familiar to him still lingers; always close by since you’ve been gone, always there to torment and remind him he’s guilty of not being able to save what was his.

“That’s a no then?” the psychiatrist taps her pen on the heavy oak surface, somewhat annoyed by his never-ending mind games.

“It’s not my fault you guys believe everything I tell you,” The Joker pouts, pretending to be saddened.

The doctor ignores the comment, going down her list.

“Can you see your children Mister Joker?”

“They burned in the fire until there was nothing left, sugar. How could I see them if there is nothing left to see?!” he lifts his shoulders up, snickering. “Ashes to ashes and dust to dust…” his eyes get darker for a moment and she didn’t even notice.

He will never let them know the agony he felt and still feels knowing that the only family he ever had and cared for is gone forever. Nobody will ever know.

It’s better to hide it all under the evil smile, cruel actions and the blissful numbness of insanity. The only thing The Joker was guilty of this time is allowing himself to love.

Never again.

Once was more than enough. And the most painful thing is the fact that he didn’t even know he loved until it was too late.

“I’m sorry, Mister Joker, I don’t mean to bring back painful memories, but we are trying to help you here, OK?”

It sounds fake and it gives him a boost of energy.

“And I must say what an amazing job is everybody doing!” the soft, eerie chuckle makes her cringe. “I’m getting bored in this fine institution of yours, doc. I might have to break free sooner than planned.”

The woman really has to strain from blurring out a smart remark; it’s hard not to fall into his little traps.

“You’re very beautiful, doc. You could be a model,” the mad man licks his lips, gazing at her cleavage.

“Mister Joker, can we not do this today?” she bargains, fed up with the stupid task of trying to make him have a breakdown.

“Do what?! I’m just stating the obvious here. Come sit on this table, right in front of me and let me see those long legs you have. Did I tell you I like your skirt?”

“Mister Joker, this is very inappropriate!” she frowns, wanting to give him a piece of her mind.

“Ha! How come?” his blue eyes get big, pretending to be surprised by the statement.“I’m a widower and a very eligible bachelor. What can I say? I have certain needs. Come on, don’t be shy. And a kiss would be very much appreciated at this time of the day,” the defiant smirk on his face gives the young psychiatrist goosebumps.

“Mister Joker, please try to refrain from such comments. I would really appreciate it,” and she begins writing on her note pad, visibly irritated.

“You’re no fun!” The Joker suddenly kicks the desk so violently it makes her jump.”Oh, pardon me, I didn’t mean to scare ya’,” he apologizes, laughing.

She keeps on writing and he takes a deep breath, staring at the translucent shape gently floating in the same spot it’s been since the beginning of the therapy session.

“You know what I miss the most?” he pauses, waiting for her to pay attention.

“What would that be, Mister Joker?” the doctor lifts her head from the paperwork, expecting another aberration.

“Making love to my wife,” the honest answer follows and she doesn’t even know it’s true. “And smelling her perfume; such a sweet fragrance… And my two boys calling me daddy…Aren’t you going to write that down?” he urges, having a blast from the woman’s confused attitude. “It’s your job, isn’t it?” the malicious snickering fills up the office.

“Mister Joker, you should really stop giving me false information,” she sniffles, but takes notes nevertheless.

“How do you know it’s false?” he teases, unraveling his silver teeth.

Because all you do is lie, she wants to say but can’t and continues to scribble.

“Are you ignoring me?” The Joker snarls and she lifts her head up.

“No, Mister Joker. Do you wish to share something else?”

“You’re fucking useless!!!!” he unexpectedly shouts, getting angrier and angrier. “As soon as I get out of here, I’m gonna kill you first! Do you hear me???!!!” and he struggles to untie himself, even if he’s aware there’s no escape for the moment.

“Security!!” the doctor calmly raises her voice and the four guards enter the office after a few seconds. “Mister Joker is done for today; please take him back to his cell!”  
The mad man keeps on cursing, fighting to break free, his eyes burning with lunacy as they drag him out of the room.

***********

Solitary confinement for the rest of the week. A blessing in disguise for The Joker, easy to obtain by swiftly manipulating a few things. After all, getting on people’s nerves is one of his specialties.

“You can’t forgive me, hm?” he takes a sit on the mattress, resting his head on the padded wall.

The shadow he keeps on seeing is silent, just a memory of the woman he dared to claim as his own.

“I don’t care,” he closes his eyes, tired from the side effects of the numerous meds forced through his veins before he was thrown back in the cage. “You’re not here anyway… ” The Joker yawns, slipping into nothingness.

“I’m here,” the apparition whispers but no human ear can hear the words. Even if it’s hopeless, the shadow approaches and continues to speak, gently caressing his face. Secret whispers of forgiveness, unnecessary for him to ask for since he wasn’t to blame. The reassurance of his wife still being there not because she wanted to torture him more, but because she couldn’t let go of the man she loved. A sacred promise of her waiting for him until his time would come. The unchanged devotion of her undying affection.

The Joker groans in his sleep, the demons quiet in his mind; they can’t do nothing else but obey the woman’s voice that commands them to be silent.

He sighs, dreaming about the song he was humming earlier: you always used to sing it to the boys when they were babies. A few hours of freedom, away from the sorrow.

After all, the only thing The Joker was guilty of this time is allowing himself to love.

Never again.

Once was more than enough.


End file.
